At least, that's what I keep telling myself. I strongly believe that when my Creator was handing out patience, I stepped out of line. Waiting around, literally and figuratively, is just
not my strong suit. I have two exceptions to the rule...waiting on the elderly and waiting on mama's with little children (unless they have
zero parenting skills and their children are bad-mannered, bratty, and the parent does nothing to address behavior). Even then, I have to check myself on occasion.
My struggle here though is patience in
LIFE. That's the biggie. It's always been since I started college. Probably even before. Me questioning "when is
this going to happen?" or "when is
that going to go away?" seem to be daily questions. Ugh.
Which brings 3 things to mind:
- God's timing + my timing can be, and likely are, completely different.
- As Beth Moore says, as a Christian, you will have "seasons" in your life to grow, stretch, and test you.
- I am trying to find full contentment + peace in something else, instead of enjoying the stage in life I am currently in.
Here's the beauty of Christianity. God spells it out for us. It's my job to listen, learn, and apply. Problem with that?? I don't stop long enough to. And I like to be in control. EEEK! Not a good combo.
One would think that after 4 years of high school, 4 years of college, and 7 years as a "true adult", I would have learned by now. I'll admit it. I'm a little dense. I know that He has been trying to teach me lessons, but they didn't fit into MY plan or schedule. So as I sit here thinking about the "why" and "when" questions, I'm realizing that I am the problem. HE is waiting on ME.
Wow. This makes me beyond grateful for His kind of patience. If the roles were reversed, I can promise you that I would have been given up on a long time ago (especially considering my patience skills, or lack thereof). It makes me beyond grateful that His mercies are new every morning and I'm given a fresh start every day.
It makes me thankful for this season, as Beth calls it, in my life. It makes me look for contentment + peace in different places than I have before. And it's making me step back and hand the reins to someone else. Someone who knows me way better than I know myself and someone who knows what's best for me. A completely and utterly terrifying thing to do, but Lord knows that this chick is usually her own worst enemy (literally). So really, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Score.
*Just a side note, a girlfriend of mine helped start a blog called #shereadstruth. It's kind of a daily devotional board that rocks. Check it out
here. I promise you won't be disappointed!
